say cheese!

As I mentioned in my earlier entry, one of my photographers came to my engagement dinner to shoot some pictures. He then texted me the next morning to let me know that the proofs were already on his website! How awesome is that?!

I don't know about the rest of you but I am not really used to photographers snapping away at me as if I'm a celebrity. I've never done modeling and I don't speak at conferences. I expected my wedding day to be my only moment in the sun. But due to the kindness of Papillio, I got to have one and a half moments (I say one and a half because Gianfranco had a little bit of my sun at the dinner)! And now I want to share with you the thoughts (and pictures!) from my experience...

First, when David, the photographer, arrived, I was quite aware of his camera. While it's not necessarily a BAD thing (I was also reminded that the camera would be on me the entire wedding day!), I realize now that it may have interrupted the candid shots he was trying to take as in the picture below. As the night wore on, however, I learned to loosen up and forget that he was even there. There were several times when I purposely posed for the camera, like when Gianfranco started singing some pretty terrible karaoke, but overall, I tried to stay as natural as I could. As a result, the candid shots came out terrific!

Next, I didn't realize how poor my posture was until I saw some of these photos! Granted, I tend to lean over a lot in pictures and Gianfranco always yells at me for that but I didn't realize how crooked I am all the time! I look awful slouching over and had it not been for these shots, I wouldn't have been aware of it until my WEDDING pictures came back. I would have been so upset had I felt my wedding pictures were ruined due to my terrible posture. I'm already upset that the cake picture features my slouching. Don't lie and say that I look fine because I don't. It's even more obvious because I'm standing next to Gianfranco, who looks nice and straight...

Now, I had wanted candid shots from the beginning and after seeing the ones from our party convinced me even more. They captured not only the people and the places but the EMOTIONS as well. These shots of me and Gianfranco tell you how embarrassed and amused I was by my sweetheart's awful rendition of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling." Can't you just HEAR me begging him to stop?!

Last, but not least, I learned how important posed photos are. I had researched photography with a snobby, "photojournalism-only" mindset. When meeting with photographers, I tended to skip over the traditional shots and look only at the candid ones. Now that I'm actually looking at the pictures, I realize just how important the traditional ones are. David took so many nice shots of our family that I decided to present them as gifts later on. I'm glad there's a picture of me and Gianfranco with our parents. Candid moments are great but twenty years from now, we'll want to remember how we looked from the frontside!

In the end, I'm so glad our photographers came. While we do have a private engagement session with them in the fall, having David snap photos in a party atmosphere taught me a lot of lessons I wouldn't have learned until my wedding day. Aside from all the points I mentioned above, I also got a chance to see him in action and I was really impressed how fast, unobtrusive and professional he was the entire evening. In the end, I think it was just as beneficial for him as well, since he got a chance to know us and our family before the big day. Plus, he got to catch a glimpse of how nutty Momzilla is!

So this entry ends with a question for you married ladies - do YOU have any advice for being photographed on your wedding day?! I'm sure there are lots of us who would appreciate your thoughts!

words of warning

My future sister-in-law, Nancy, emailed me this morning in a panic. I wanted to share her story with my fellow brides:

"I finally got the favor tags in. Let me tell you that they look like sh**. 1st of all they spelled my name wrong (Nacy). 2nd- the colors that I ordered were wine and silver( it looks like red and ivory). 3rd- it looks like when they went to print them, the printer was running out of ink. I called to get a refund, and was told that there are no refund on personalized item, and because it was my mistake ( misspelling my name) they will do me a courtesy of reprinting them for me ( with my name spelled correctly) at no charge, but i have to pay for shipping. Can you believe this.

The lady that I spoke to yesterday claims that my name was spelled NACY throughout the entire order. I find that very hard to believe. Misspelling my name wrong 4 times ( shipping label, favor tags, e-mail and billing info). I can understand if i spelled it wrong 1 time, but 4 I highly doubt that. The only thing is that I remember calling and speaking to a lady on the phone to order the tags, but i cannot remember if the final order was via phone or on-line. When i asked to speak to the person that I given my order to, i was informed that she no longer works there. Go figure. Don't order anything from this website.
foreverwedstore.com.

How is your day starting out??? "

Just a reminder to keep emails and confirmations of EVERYTHING in case a vendor tries to screw you on anything!

engagement party - take one

This past weekend was our first engagement celebration and WHEW! what an exhausting experience! Since we have so many family and friends, we decided to have a dinner with our bridal party and family and then have a backyard party with the rest of our friends and family. After the first party, I'm glad we decided to have two parties because I definitely learned a lot from it.

Don't get me wrong - the party was a success and our guests seemed to be enjoying themselves. We had dinner and drinks at an Italian restaurant and overall it went pretty well. But despite the lack of major problems, I found myself worrying so much that I barely had time to sit, eat and enjoy my company. So here are the lessons I learned the first time around that I hope to get right for our second party this summer:

1. It Takes Two. Before my party, my good friend Renee warned me about separating from Gianfranco. She said dividing was not the way to conquer and although I nodded my head at the time of her advice, Gianfranco and I spent most of the evening apart. Maybe splitting up works for some couples but I just felt like we defeated the purpose of having the engagement party. Our dinner guests were our closest friends and family, most of whom had already seen at least one of us since our engagement, and they were not there to talk weather with us. As my father mentioned in his toast to us, despite all the bad news we've been hearing the last year, our engagement still manages to shine through all the negativity and our guests wanted to see the love and happiness that the two of us were celebrating. Instead of crossing paths in the restaurant, we should have been holding hands and approaching each table together, as one unit. After all, isn't that the point of a wedding?! For the summer party, I'll make sure we spend the evening together and not just as strangers in the night. That's for you, Dad!
   
2. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. As with any other event you host in your life, things are bound to go wrong. Once in a while, the problems are major, like saying the wrong name in your vows (oops!) or ripping your pants. But most of the time, the so-called "disasters" are so minor that you're the only one who notices. I spent a good hour or so creating an iPod playlist for the party. Do you think anyone really remembers the music? No. Gianfranco prepared this whole speech for after dinner. Did he remember everything he wanted to say? No. Did he make a great speech? Yes. The truth is, no one notices what he doesn't know is supposed to be there.
   
3. Details DO Matter. On the other hand, however, sometimes it's the little things that make the difference. Momzilla worked really hard (with my help, of course!) on all the little beach-themed details and her diligence and creativity paid off. We received a ton of compliments on the placecards, the napkin rings and even the favors that she created. None of the items she made cost us much money and yet they really made a difference in the ambiance. Now, Momzilla is so proud that she's already thinking of fun ideas for the summer party!
4. RELAX! Out of all the things I learned, this one is probably the most valuable. I was so worked up about making sure everyone was having a good time that I didn't even get to have a piece of my own cake! I kept trying to make my rounds, kept trying to keep people entertained that I barely sat down with the friends at my table. Afterwards, I realized that although our guests were here in honor of us, they didn't need us to babysit them. Everyone there knew someone else and they all had a good time just chatting amongst themselves. As important as I thought we were, I realized we weren't THAT important!

Like I said, the party was a success and everyone seemed to have a nice evening. David, my photographer, even showed up and took a lot of great pics. I'll be devoting my next entry to discuss how wonderful it was to have him there. But in the meantime, take a look at the pictures by doing the following:

1. Go to Papillio Photography's website
2. Click "Proof Galleries" on top
3. Select "Engagement Photos"
4. Click "Nicole and Gianfranco"

The password is my last name. If you really want to see the pictures but you don't know my last name (or you don't know how to spell it!) you may email me privately through this blog and I'd be happy to provide it.

So, one party down, another to go. I'm hopeful that I'll have more time to enjoy the next party but a part of me is nervous - if I had a difficult time enjoying my intimate engagement dinner, how the heck will I have fun at my large wedding?!

Thoughts?!

referrals are a bride's best friend

Okay, maybe not BEST friend since that role is probably already filled by the shiny diamond ring the bride wears, but referrals rank pretty high up there.

Gianfranco and I finally booked our DJ tonight. We officially signed a contract with Elite Sound Entertainment and I'm psyched. Before researching, I had thought this vendor would be easier to choose than photography but as we met with each DJ, I came to the frustrating conclusion that it was actually going to be harder.

Each DJ appointment followed the same routine. First we chatted a little about the wedding basics - the when, the where and the how many. Next, the DJ showed us all the packages they had to offer - the lighting, the screens, the snow machines, etc. Then the DJ would pop in a sample video in which people look like they're having a blast. Finally, we got a breakdown of what our package would cost us.

It doesn't seem like it should be so hard to choose one, right? WRONG. What made it easy for us to choose a photographer made it hard to choose a DJ. With photography, we were able to see the artist's work. We could look through multiple albums and get a sense of that photographer's style.

With recorded music, however, we weren't able to do that. While it's true that photographers can present their best work, you are still able to see a few FULL albums to get an idea of how they generally shoot weddings. DJs offer you snippets of their work and it usually portrays a great scene where everyone is dancing and waving at the camera. That just wasn't enough for me. For the most part, the DJs are playing the same songs. It's how the DJ mixes that music, however, is what could make or break a wedding. Which of course leads us to the topic of this entry - REFERRALS.

My first entry about DJs left me with recommendations from friends and family. And while I did take some advice during my photographer search, I found myself really listening to what others had to say about the DJs. Photography is a matter of style and taste. Picking a DJ, in my opinion, requires the opinion of someone who has actually seen the DJ in action.

We found our DJ company through Gianfranco's friend, who handles the videography for Elite Sound Entertainment on the side. Gianfranco's friend is also a great DJ himself and had we not wanted him to attend as a guest, we would have certainly considered him for the job as well. But knowing how great of a DJ he was made me confident in his recommendation of Elite Sound.

When we met with our DJ tonight, we weren't disappointed. Since our wedding DJ also has experience as a radio DJ, he knew that variety was the most important thing. He knew that new music should be mixed in with the recurrent music with the older music in a way that everyone likes something all night. My mother is 50 next week (Happy Birthday Mom!) and yet she loves dancing to Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music." My 27-year old fiance loves music from the 1950s. I don't necessarily agree with the DJs who believe in playing current music later on at night, when they think the older people have dozed off. My grandfather stays up way later than I do and my sister tends to pass out at 9pm. Age shouldn't determine the playlist and our DJ seemed to recognize that. What did it for me was when our DJ told us he played off of the reaction he got from the crowd. If they responded well to one genre, he'd remember to play more of it. If he noticed people sitting down, he'd play less of that throughout the night. That's the kind of answer I like.

Now, unless you or someone you know has experienced the DJ firsthand, it's hard to know how that flow is maintained and even then it may be just hard to remember! Before our appointment, I checked out Elite Sound's reviews on Wedding Wire, a website where you can see how other customers rated various wedding vendors in your area. They received great marks.

So what's a bride to do? How are YOU picking your DJ? Or how DID you pick your DJ? Did you base your decision strictly off of referrals? Did you ask to see the DJ at another wedding? Did you attend bridals shows? I'd love to hear about it!

paying for a winter wonderland?

We've been meeting with several DJs and they've presented lots of cool options. Of course, these options come with a price tag and so I turn to you, my dear readers, for some advice. I'll list the different upgrades below and hope you can comment on what you think we'd need or wouldn't need...

Uplighting. This is when colored lights are placed on the floors throughout the room in order to accent the walls, tables and chairs. You can have multi-colored uplighting, where the room changes colors all night long or you can stick to just one color for the evening. The Venetian will provide the uplighting for $500 or we could have one of the DJs light the DJ booth and the sweetheart table for $250.

Since we're having a winter wedding, we would go for a blue uplighting like below:

Gobo. This is the description I found on Wedding Aces:

"A gobo refers to a small disc about the size of a silver dollar. The gobo has a design on it, and when a high power lamp is shown through it, the design is projected. The word gobo is used interchangeably to describe the small disc with the pattern, the pattern itself, and the actual projection you see. Gobos can be simple or intricate. They can also include colors. Depending on the pattern needed and the lamp used, they can be made out of several material… typically glass, metal, or plastic."

Most DJ companies charge around $200-$300 to have a customized gobo design created. If we were to have one for our wedding, we'd probably have our initials surrounded by snowflakes. It would be somewhat of a combination of the two pictures below:

Photo Booth. These are becoming more and more popular at weddings nowadays. I'm actually going to a wedding with one this summer. I'm not sure how the look of these booths vary among different vendors but the point is to have a Boardwalk-esque photo booth where your guests can take wacky and fun shots. They can cost anywhere between $800 and $1400 to rent for your reception.

There are lots of creative ways to use the photo booth. The two most common involve having guests keep their photos as favors/souvenirs or having the guests place their picture strips in a guest book along with their wishes for the bride and groom. Here's an example from Atlantic Studio as to how the pictures might look:

Snow Machine. Last, but not least, we were presented with the option of a snow machine. How. Cool. It would be AWESOME to have light snow falling over our heads as Gianfranco and I share our first dance as husband and wife in our snowy-themed wedding! For an additional $250, Gianfranco and I could be waltzing in our own personal snowstorm. I love it, I really do.

Now, my main concern was that the "snow" would wet the floor and cause my guests (and myself!) to slip and fall. There is no carpet in our room at the Venetian so I was afraid people would slide all over the place. The DJ assured us that the "snow" dissipates pretty quickly and would probably dissolve by the time it reached the floor. He also showed us a pretty cool shot of the bride and groom dancing as the snow fell. Although I don't have that exact picture, I did find an image from a Canadian studio, Studio Cabral, that shows just how cool of an effect the "snow" would have:

I think all of these additions could really enhance the wedding but I wonder if any of them are REALLY worth it. I know, I know, we're planning to spend an incredibly stupid amount of money on the Rolls Royce for just a couple of minutes. But Momzilla offered to pay for the limo so I don't mind the ridiculousness of it all. The DJ package, however, will be our purchase so I'm being a little more practical.

So what do you think? Do any, if not all, of these effects cross the line into Cheesy-dom? Am I not aware of any other cool add-ons?

what i hate about wedding planning #27

The word "wedding" seems to be an extremely powerful term. Just the mere mention of the it causes young women to dream, mothers to cry and vendors to rack up prices.

For example, I've started to do some research on limousines. Nothing too extensive yet; just getting an idea of our budget. I think we'll have to end up with three limos - a Rolls Royce to take me, my father and my sister (Maid of Honor) to the church; a party bus to take the bridesmaids to the church and later take the entire bridal party to the hall; and a stretch limo to take the groomsmen from Gianfranco's house to the church. The party bus really excites me; it's the Rolls Royce and stretch limo that are making me want to punch someone, mainly the owner of the limo company.

The Rolls Royce that is transporting me exactly 1.6 miles away from my house, approximately four minutes, will cost me $540 including tax and gratuity. Do the math. That comes out to $135 a minute. A MINUTE. It doesn't help that I'm being charged for 3.5 hours when I only need a total of 4 minutes. Unfortunately, limos don't work that way. If I want the Rolls Royce, I have to pay for the whole 3.5 hours, no matter how long I use it. Why is it so much? Because it's for a wedding.

Now, paying for the stretch limo that the groomsmen will use for their one-hour trip down to the church is at least justified. My beef with the limo companies here is the unfair way they determine the price.

Let's compare, now shall we?

10 passenger - 3 hours - $300 non-wedding/$525 wedding
12 passenger - 4 hours - $432 non-wedding/$786 wedding
10 passenger - 5 hours - $400 non-wedding/$575 wedding
And just for fun:
28 passenger party bus - 5 hours - $900 non-wedding/$1470 wedding

The limo companies will claim their wedding package offers extra perks - like a red carpet or a bridal emergency kit. But come on! Do the groomsmen need all that junk on the way to the church? All Gianfranco needs is a can of Coke and maybe three chocolate chip cookies and he's a happy groom. Will a party bus for a wedding be ANY different than a party bus for a birthday party? I highly doubt it.

I'm almost tempted to not even mention the word "wedding" and just rent a party bus for 5 hours. Will they adjust the charge when they realize they're taking men in tuxedos to a church? Hmmm. Why am I spending nearly $600 more just because it's a wedding?! If I could book the party bus at the birthday party rate, I wouldn't even need a stretch limo to bring the guys; I'd just have the bus pick up the groomsmen first!

Unfortunately, limo companies are not the only ones to extort brides and their budgets. It happens with every vendor. Hiring a DJ for a wedding is more expensive than hiring a DJ for an anniversary party. Ordering a dozen roses to send your fiancee cost way less than the dozen roses in your bride's bouquet.

I know there's nothing I can do but vent so let me at least do that.

rules of engagement

It's now June, which means we're only a couple of weeks away from the formal engagement party. I say "formal" because we'll be having two separate parties. The one scheduled for June 20th is at an Italian restaurant on Staten Island and is for the bridal party and immediate family. MZ plans on having ANOTHER party in the backyard sometime this summer for the rest of our friends and family. Even though one is more formal than the other, I'm looking forward to both equally.

Despite the number of engaged friends I have, I've only gone to a couple of engagement parties thus far. I've come to realize that not all brides plan on having a party to announce their upcoming nuptials. I, on the other hand, am rather excited to share the big news with my family and friends.

The formal engagement party, for me, is a way of seeing what our future will look like. I love the thought of bringing together his family with my family to make OUR family. And while our parents have already gotten to know each other quite well, our friends and bridal party haven't really had the chance to mix just yet.

MZ and I have actually created some DIY projects for the party. Since our January wedding will have a wintry feel to it, we thought it would be fun to add some summer time to our June engagement party. We've made the place cards, table numbers, centerpieces and napkin rings and we did a really great job, if I must say so myself. I plan on taking lots of pictures to show off my work and I'll be sure to post them on the blog with how-to instructions as well.

I found really adorable and affordable invitations at Tickled Pink Design and Meg and I wrote the saying for the card. If you can't see the text in the picture below, it says: "Nicole didn't know when it was coming/Gianfranco wanted her to guess/But when the "pieces" came together/All she could do was say, "Yes!" I would HIGHLY recommend this company for any engagement or shower invitations since they look great and professional and they were about half the cost of the other invitation companies I researched.

And since the engagement party is all about bringing the two families together, I'd love to find some time in the next week or two to create a family tree and display it for everyone to see. I'd like to make it similar to the one from Melangerie:

I doubt mine will look half as nice as this one but I'll try! Ideally, I'd like to design something using starfish or sea shells to correspond with the beach theme so if anyone has any cute ideas, pass them on!

Originally I had wanted activities and icebreakers for the party but I couldn't find anything that wasn't cheesy or lame so we're just going to have the usual toasts instead. Dad will toast to me and the fiance, the fiance will toast to our families, and I'll thank everyone for coming. My father has a way with words so I'm not worried about him but Gianfranco is not one to speak in front of crowds so he may need a little wine to loosen up!

I'll keep everyone posted on the plans but in the meantime, does anyone have any cute ideas for the engagement party? Whether it's beach-related or activity-related or if it's just advice on how to enjoy the evening, leave me a comment! I'm really interested to add something different and unique to the party...let me know!