all i heard was, "blah, blah, blah"

Bride or not, we're all guilty of it at one point in our lives. Some of us are better at it than others but in the end, we all tend to focus on what's going on in our own world without being aware of how our chatter is absolutely boring everyone else around us. For people like me, it's a wedding. For others, it's their job or their boyfriend or their house or their baby.

I am so excited to get married that I'm pretty sure my thoughts revolve around my wedding about 90% of the time. Ninety-percent. The remaining 10% is given to my favorite television shows (Idol!), my summer vacation (Italy!) and my weekend plans (quick, name an activity that starts with an "I"!)

My poor friends! My poor coworkers! My poor fiance! It's amazing how just one little day, nearly TWO years from now, is all I ever think about. We were at my grandparents' house Saturday night and all I could yap about were my wedding plans. My own sister, the Maid of Honor, was even tired of listening to me. By the end of the night, I was too.

Unless the person to whom you are talking is going through the same stage of life as you, chances are they are smiling and nodding and not listening to a word you're saying. And it's not just about planning your wedding but about also experiencing pregnancy or buying a house or meeting the new love of your life or raising your two children.

I've decided that there are three types of listeners in this world:

• The Me-Toos are the best kind of listeners to have. These are the people who are obsessing over the same events, experiences or emotions that you are. When I was heavily involved in big projects at work, I turned to my coworkers to discuss politics, market research and questionnaire design. When my ex and I broke up for the zillionth time several years ago, his friend's ex-girlfriend and I would spend hours comparing notes and analyzing our broken relationships. Now that I'm planning my wedding, my close (engaged) friend Renee and I swap ideas, concerns and questions. These friends not only hear you, but they listen and provide good, solid insight as well. They're not tired of hearing you ramble on about petal cones and placecards. They are genuinely interested in your thoughts because ultimately, it could affect theirs as well.
  
• The Oh-Really?-That's-Nice listeners don't mean to look away while you're talking but can you really blame them? You have to give them credit for politely hearing about things that either don't apply to them yet or that once applied to them a long time ago. It's hard to share in a bride's happiness over flower arrangements if tulips are the last thing on your mind at the moment! I know I've done it myself to other friends who, ironically, were planning their weddings! My good friend got married last year and I was SO not involved in her wedding planning. Imagine that?! It's not that I didn't care or that I wasn't happy for her, I just didn't really know or understand all the little details that she was describing. Now, of course, I wish I had paid more attention to the times she spoke about her photographers or about her overnight guest baskets. Instead, I was probably wrapped up in whatever topic was consuming my mind at that point in my life.
  
• Last and least, the Enough, Alreadys! are the (non) listeners who have already been talked to death that they either a) avoid you, b) escape you or c) interrupt you before you even have a chance to mention your wedding. They just don't want to hear about it anymore! They can't seem to understand what happened to the girlfriend/friend/sister/daughter/coworker/teammate/roommate/carpooling buddy (Sorry Vik!) they used to know and love! I think Gianfranco has sadly accepted that his fiancee has disappeared and left a bumbling bridezilla in her place. Whenever we go to my parents' house, he brings his laptop and plays on the computer while my mother and I talk wedding stuff because he knows it's pointless to even discuss anything else.
  

So there you have it, folks. One group is listening, one group is nodding and one group is covering their ears so they don't have to hear anymore. The good news is that people are not stuck in any one particular group. My roommate, who is also engaged, tends to jump from "Enough, Already" to "Me-Too" to "Oh-Really?-That's-Nice," depending on the topic. When I mention wedding dresses, she's all ears. When I talk about the guest list, she listens politely and when I bring up wedding etiquette, she quickly lets me know that she's had enough.

I guess the point of this posting is to remind everyone, not just brides, to be mindful of how much of your obsession is shared by the people with whom you're conversing. Like battles, you need to learn to pick your conversation topics wisely.

Otherwise, you'll have to start a blog because nobody will want to talk to you anymore. Why do you think I started this one? :)