Jamie pointed out that if Gianfranco were able to match me in numbers (doubtful) then there would be approximately 30 people standing by the altar (ridiculous). So as I got closer to my engagement, I sat down and really started reassessing my list. I loved all of my friends but I had to look at the bridal party as a whole and really think about how convenient it would be for each member. Some girls lived far away while others had lots of extracirricular activities going on. And not that I was afraid my Bridezilla demands would be too much to handle, I just didn't want to put any extra burdens on the other bridesmaids.
In the end, I was able to bring it down to 8 bridesmaids and 2 juniors. While still a little more than most brides have, it was way more reasonable. But lately, my engaged friends and I have been looking at our bridal party wistfully, hoping we didn't offend the friends we love but couldn't include. So, it makes me wonder, in a Carrie-esque way:
When it comes to your bridesmaids, just how many is too many?
According to The Knot, tradition uses the guest list size to determine how many attendants would be appropriate. I've heard of having one bridesmaid for every 50 guests. So, if you were having around 200 guests, you would have anywhere between 4-6 girls. For a smaller wedding, you would have fewer.
But I'm not really caring about tradition or what looks good or bad in pictures. I'm not thinking about how much each bridesmaid costs the bride. In my opinion, you should include the girls with whom you are the closest, whether this number is 2 or 20. And while most people would argue that having 20 bridesmaids can create a circus, I'd have to disagree!
Overall, I think it's the type not the number of bridesmaids you have. You could have only two bridesmaids and they can either fight with each other so much that nothing gets done or be nonchalant about the whole thing and nothing gets done. I chose the 8 girls in my bridal party because in the end, I think their personalities fit the best. I have some with "take charge" attitudes and some with "follow the leader" mentalities. And even though 8 sounds like a lot, I think they will be able to work well together, which is extremely important.
As for the other girls I had originally wanted, I decided to honor them in other ways. I wanted them to still feel part of my wedding so I'm having them help with creating my overnight baskets, my DIY projects, handing out the programs at the church, bringing up the gifts during the ceremony, and coordinating with the vendors on the actual wedding day. Just because they aren't wearing a bridesmaid dress doesn't mean they aren't special enough to be involved in the planning process.
So what do you think? Am I as crazy as Gianfranco thinks I am for having 8 girls in my bridal party? What are the pros and cons of having a large party? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
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3 comments:
those red dresses are awful!
so being someone who is having 10 in my bridal party, i am of the school that size doesn't matter! the people in your party should just be people that you love and care about and that you want to stand there on your wedding day as witnesses to the incredible moment, whether that is 2 or 20 girls! i think that people get caught up in tradition or in trying to appease everyone or not hurt anyone's feelings, but the truth is, at some point it has to come down to what you want and how you truly feel about each and every one of the people in your party! are they really good friends? do you want them to share in all the special moments that come along with being in the bridal party? are they going to cause you added stress or help make everything run that much smoother? in the end, i personally chose mostly family and a couple of my absolute closest friends. thats what bridal party size comes down to for me! just enjoy each and every moment with everyone you have chosen! besides the more you have, the less the "extras" of being in a bridal party cost if you want to think of it that way!
You arent crazy! One of the main reasons I love my fiance is that he is such a great friend and attracts great friends! We have 8 bridesmaids, 12 groomsmen, a flower girl, a ring bearer and two brothers that will be walking me down the aisle! I saw your limo bus posting and loved it cause we are getting the same mode of transportation. We need transportation for 26! I thought it was crazy, but when we looked at our list, we just couldnt cut anyone. They all mean so much to us and we couldnt imagine them not being right beside us giving us their blessings. (Ok maybe they could do that from the pews, but its more fun when they're up there with you!)
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